So came home today to Nick telling me that our trashcans are gone. Just gone. We last saw our beloved trashcans last night when I took them out at about 11pm. When we left the house for work this morning, I didn't even look over to see if they were in same spot as I left them. I feel..... annoyed. violated... but most of all... confused. WHO IN THE WORLD WOULD TAKE TRASHCANS? I mean is there a high demand for them? A black market for trashcans? I suddenly have a vision of Oscar the Grouch type person wheelin' and dealin' trashcans similar to a human trade operation. Is this a little too dramatic? Maybe. But at this point I am annoyed I have to buy two trashcans that are like $30 a pop. Annoyed. By the way 96 days. I keep thinking how this time last year I actually questioned if I ever would have this moment where I could actually think of my wedding in reality. Before it was a "someday" thing. Someday we would have it here.... Someday when we have a house... Someday when we get married we will play this song... someday. Someday is coming faster and faster. So with the words "faster and faster" comes all the things I was HOPING I would be on track with. One being one of my life's biggest challenges.. my weight.
Now anyone who really knows me I have never truly ever been skinny. Well with exception of when I was like 10. I was boney and dark brown.... BUT as soon as puberty hit in 4th grade a lot of things changed. Such as I suddenly became less of the tomboy and apparently the expert in all things that consisted of periods, bras and growth of breasts. None of these things I particularly was proud of or wanted to discuss. But when you are that age and all these things happen before everyone else it is a big deal.... at least according to Judy Blume and half the girls in my 4th grade class. Soooo ya I got some meat on my bones. I can live with that, but not so much meat where I feel like I could be the meat counter at the local butcher shop. Yes, I am not like to a point where they will need cut open side of house and lift me out with crane. I just feel like I am sometimes. So how does one overcome this? Tons of diets, diet pills, and working out like a fiend. All have worked and then suddenly I am back to this. There was a moment I was thinner. Thinner than I am now. I blame Nick. The last time I was thinner was RIGHT before we hooked up again. I think he did it on purpose making me eat. At least that is my excuse...
So no matter how much effort I put in it, it was never easy for me to keep it off. So I have now realized that as much as I would like to be thinner, I would also like to just be in general healthier. So to start this journey I have started going to YMCA with Megan. It has been good. She is overly peppy and happy about all the exercises. I love her so much I want to punch her... with love of course. Sometimes she is a little too motivated and excited about the escalator to hell AKA the stairstepper machine. During our time there we met a YMCA trainer named Jake who has been most helpful... well helpful on the first day we met him and he gave us tips. Then he wanted our cell numbers to begin our training. Then gave us a worksheet... and then.... the stalking began.
It was innocent enough..."hey ladies... can I give you some tips on that?"... Nothing major. Then soon he was sneaking up on us in midst of a lifting set...."hey laaadies...." and without warning. It was like he was hiding behind the machines waiting. Just waiting. And just when you thought it was safe to pick up that dumbbell and begin your routine... you hear... "hey laaaaadies..." and BOOM he is giving some tips. "Hey ladies how bout we take that weight up 5lbs more. Come on Gina I know you can do it... Don't make that face. You can do it."... The normal stare with laser eyes look I normally give, did not work on Jake. He is immune to this look. He has to have a weakness, but until then we have to watch our back. We contemplated disguises, but for some reason we felt Jake would still figure us out cause he is apparently a super ninja. I wanted it noted all tips he has provided are helpful. I wish to give Jake a tip.... If you wish for me or you not to be injured, don't be all ninja and let your presence known, otherwise I cannot guarantee a weight will not be slammed into your head or my foot. Soon though he started texting, asking when we were coming in; do we have worksheets done; catching us before we walked out door; calling on a Sunday afternoon. Jake... Jake...Jake *smh*.... I need you to understand that I need you to take the "stalker in the bushes" routine down a notch. I need your expertise to make sure I am in that dress that day and not busting out of it. What I don't need is you calling and texting as if we were in this deep relationship. We just met. I don't even know your last name. We are only on a first name basis. I am not going anywhere. Have you seen the size of my ass? This girl needs help. Lets take it slow. I am not like the others. I will not just use you for the free tour of gym and a couple of freebie tips. Though I do like free gifts. Like Janet Jackson said... lets wait awhile.
So to end it on a happy note... I am going to start randomly adding a silly anecdote from my friends or family. In this particular moment I am gong to call it "Brown Bear's Corner".... I told a particular friend of mine I would dedicate my next blog to her. So here I am dedicating my blog to my one and only California friend. My only moderately tan bear that can sometimes sum things up in the only way that she can... so here you go folks the first installment of "Brown Bear's Corner"... Thanks Bethy for the story on what the difference is between a white lie and when you say something mean outloud. A lesson we can all learn from.
"I was like 5 maybe 6 and we were in Walgreens... and a
midget (small person) walked into the store and my aunt said she saw
this person and thought oh crap (because I had an issue with being quiet
and NOT saying anything...weird) so she just held my hand and I was
looking around and then... all of a sudden... I saw...the midget! I said "AUNT DIDI WHAT IS WRO.kj;aoirgy" she covered my mouth FAST! So
we get to the car and she tells me that when people look weird its ok
to smile at them and then tell someone else later that you saw a weird
person.... and if someone was to ask if we thought they were nice to say yes (white lie) and not to say they were weird because that's mean!"
Truer words were never spoken. I am snapping my fingers in appreciation. Peace, love and hair grease y'all.
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